Monday, 14 September 2009

There's a mucus party in my head and you're invited

Oh how glorious it is to wake up only to realize that your body has betrayed you and decided your skull should like totally host some kind of phlegm themed festival. Which then, in the way festivals do, escalates to the point where it's completely out of control and the phlegm has nowhere else to go but out my nose, and from the feel of it, soon out my eyes and ears.

It's also a beautiful feeling when this betrayal of the flesh coincides with the annual coming of spring and the glory of pollen.
Which for me means allergies.
Which, you guessed it, means phlegmfest '09 is one gift that will just keep on giving.
Oh joy of joys.

I feel like somebody has implanted one of those instant towels in my head and then left the water tap on and it just keeps expanding and it's not stopping and my eyes are bulging out from the pressure and I can't hear anything cause all the sounds are muffled and OH MY GOD, MOMMY JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

My eyes are so itchy and my nose is all raw and irritated and whenever I walk past the mirror I wonder who put that poster against domestic violence up in my apartment.
Not cool.

So now, without further due, I will go drug myself into a coma and hopefully wake up looking a little less like I'm dating Chris Brown.

5 comments:

f8hasit said...

Ahhh. Plegm. Allergies. Excess fluids. Chris Brown.

That's quite a nose full. I mean mouth full.
:-)

I hope you feel better soon!

omchelsea said...

Eeeesh. You poor thing. Get a neti pot and use it religiously. I mean, every morning.

Cham said...

Aww feel better soon! I know all about spring time allergies, it's enough to make you almost wish you lived in Siberia where there is no such thing as seasons, just frozen ice that friggin plants and their evil pollen can't grow out of. Almost.

ali said...

I love a girl who can write about phlegm! Welcome to Melbourne. Hope you get your visa. Seems to me like you'll fitin right in

Organic Meatbag said...

Finally! I have been invited to a mucous party!