Oh how glorious it is to wake up only to realize that your body has betrayed you and decided your skull should like totally host some kind of phlegm themed festival. Which then, in the way festivals do, escalates to the point where it's completely out of control and the phlegm has nowhere else to go but out my nose, and from the feel of it, soon out my eyes and ears.
It's also a beautiful feeling when this betrayal of the flesh coincides with the annual coming of spring and the glory of pollen.
Which for me means allergies.
Which, you guessed it, means phlegmfest '09 is one gift that will just keep on giving.
Oh joy of joys.
I feel like somebody has implanted one of those instant towels in my head and then left the water tap on and it just keeps expanding and it's not stopping and my eyes are bulging out from the pressure and I can't hear anything cause all the sounds are muffled and OH MY GOD, MOMMY JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!
My eyes are so itchy and my nose is all raw and irritated and whenever I walk past the mirror I wonder who put that poster against domestic violence up in my apartment.
So now, without further due, I will go drug myself into a coma and hopefully wake up looking a little less like I'm dating Chris Brown.
1 week ago