Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of my internet deprived life

It seems my fiance is a horrible and deceitful man not sparing any means in his quest trying to make me a healthier person.

Despite previous statements alluding to the "fact" that our hotel does not have internet access, and being "pretty sure" about that fact, it turns out that, in fact, it does. Of course it does.

When, in a slight panic, mentioning this to fiance while experiencing heart palpitations brought on by the fact that against better knowing I left my computer at home and thus am completely cut off from the world as I know it, he simply says

"Well, this gives you a reason to get out of the house."

Whaaaaaaaat?

How rude!

So indeed here I am, out of the house and sitting in an internet cafe "downtown" where I somewhat struggle to find all the correct keys and combinations on this New Zealand style keyboard, reminiscing about my own computer and the good times we've shared.
Like the ones where he freezes up and won't let me do anything no matter how furiously I keep clicking stuff.
Or, those times when I try and log on and this process ends up taking forever and causes me to shake him like a British nanny while threatening guttural sounds escape me.
Good times. Good times.
Maybe we need some time apart. Maybe what fiance is doing is trying to salvage my somewhat unhealthy relationship with my computer.

Yeah. Not likely.