While seeming to have absolutely no difficulty what so ever with making big, life changing decisions such as choosing to re-locate to a different continent, quitting a job or other major things that one might think would take just the slightest bit of consideration or even thought, I do suffer an almost crippling inability to choose in situations where what I choose really doesn't have that big of an impact, if any.
Such choices might include which chocolate bar out of two I want (need) the most, whether I would like popcorn when going to the movies or not, or which one out of three dvds to rent.
These choices when made offer few (obvious) life altering consequences and yet when faced with them I get so confused I go into a near catatonic state of mind. I go blank. I end up staring at the items at hand, and instead of my brain going
"yeah right, like I'd ever pay money to watch "he's just not that into you', put that down woman!"
it just goes
There is literally a sound of static in my head.
As you might imagine, this is vaguely infuriating.
Fiance, I suspect has noticed and consequently grown tired of this inability to choose and as sort of a counter action has put in place a dr. phil-esque strategy to deal.
Hence, instead of him deciding things so that I don't have to bother (or more likely so he won't have to re-consider this engagement of ours, which would really be more than just a bit of a hassle you see), he now will sit in the car while I, all by my lonesome and with beads of sweat gathering at my hairline, walk into the dvd rental place and pick something.
I'm not even allowed to call him. Or even, as it turns out, try and catch his attention from inside the shop and crazily wave two movies in the air while staring even more crazily at him while trying to avoid making a decision.
Where am I going with this? I don't know. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
And I think it is apparent that I do.
the hard stuff
13 hours ago